when we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. but when we are silent, we are still afraid. so it is better to speak. … your silence will not protect you.

- audre lorde

"Rising Up Together," by Gille de Vlieg

“Baby Suggs called the women to her. “Cry,” she told them. “For the living and the dead. Just cry.” And without covering their eyes the women let loose. It started that way: laughing children, dancing men, crying women and then it got mixed up. Women stopped crying and danced; men sat down and cried; children danced, women laughed, children cried until, exhausted and riven, all and each lay about the Clearing damp and gasping for breath.

In the silence that followed, Baby Suggs, holy, offered up to them her great big heart…“Here,” she said, “in this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it. Love it hard. Yonder they do not love your flesh. They despise it… No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your hands! Love them! Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face ‘cause they don’t love that either. You got to love it, you! And no, they ain’t in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again.What you say out of it they will not heed…What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give leavins instead. No they don’t love your mouth. You got to love it.”

“This is flesh I’m talking about here. Flesh that needs to be loved. Feet that need to rest and to dance; backs that need support; shoulders that need arms, strong arms I’m telling you. And oh my people, out yonder, hear me, they do not love your neck unnoosed and straight. So love your neck; put a hand on it, grace it, stroke it, and hold it up. And all your inside parts that they’d just as soon slop for hogs, you got to love them. The dark, dark liver – love it, love it, and the beat and beating heart, love that too. More than eyes or feet… More than your life-holding womb and your live-giving private parts, hear me now, love your heart. For this is the prize.”

“Saying no more, she stood up then and danced with her twisted hip the rest of what her heart had to say while the others opened their mouths and gave her the music. Long notes held until the four-part harmony was perfect enough for their deeply loved flesh.”

- from “Beloved,” by Toni Morrison

I want to thank Courtney E. Martin, Kristal Brent Zook, Gloria Feldt, and Deborah Siegel for being so generous and gracious in offering their life stories, struggles, lessons, and insights.  I’m so glad I went to this AWESOME panel-discussion and really enjoyed the sisterhood-solidarity and warm company of women of all backgrounds, races, and ages. It was INCREDIBLY restorative and inspiring!  …and to think it was only 2 years ago when I heard you all speak for the first time when the Harvard College Women’s Center hosted this: http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2008/4/20/four-feminists-tackle-harvard-age-is/

Thank you all for not being afraid to advocate for a world where men and women can enjoy “genuine equality, educated choice, and live intentionally with authenticity.”  Thank you for not being afraid to claim the “f-word” and for setting an example for:

-how to redefine power structures in an effort to correct imbalances
-how to understand our worth as women-individuals and negotiate accordingly
-how to assert our wants and needs without making unhealthy compromises
-how to approach partnership-relationships and work-life balance
-how to imagine better for our sons and daughters
-how to be courageous and when faltering or failing, do so GREATLY
and forgive ourselves
and try again tomorrow–
wiser, but also with as much passion, fervor, and optimism as before.

From the bottom of my heart and all the way back up again,
THANK YOU!!!

Words of wisdom and affirming mantras that especially touched my heart…

“psychology of abundance”
“shared power”
“create communities”
“redefine success”
and “don’t be afraid to fail”
-from Courtney E. Martin

“…of course you’re gonna fail! But how great a failure is it?!”
-Cornel West via Courtney E. Martin

“One can never be wholly powerful and unafraid at the same time.” [AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.]
-Krystal Brent Zook

“There is no leap of faith more powerful than the heart’s desire; the heart has power to create more energy inside us to power us towards our desires.”
-Kristal Brent Zook

“Nobody loves you better because you’ve used yourself up.”
-Gloria Feldt

“Be intentional about your life…about what you want to be and do.  And there’s no choice you make that you can’t change.” [AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.]
-Gloria Feldt

For more on:
Courtney E. Martin: http://www.courtneyemartin.com/ and http://www.doitanywaybook.org/
Kristal Brent Zook: http://www.kristalbrentzook.com/
Deborah Siegel: http://www.deborahsiegel.net/
Gloria Feldt: http://gloriafeldt.com/about/
WomenGirlsLadies: http://womengirlsladies.blogspot.com/
Harvard College Women’s Center: http://hcwc.fas.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do
UMKC’s Women’s Center: http://www.umkc.edu/womenc/

and then walks grinning in the funeral.

- khalil gibran

“Some people do not have to search, for they find their niche early in life and rest there, seemingly contented and resigned. At times I envy them, but usually I do not understand them… and seldom do they understand me. I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us.

We are not unhappy, but neither are we completely content. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach; we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power and unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty.

We like forests, mountains, deserts, hidden rivers and lovely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as our laughter; to share our sadness with the ones we love is perhaps as great a joy as we know, unless it is to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself and for anything beautiful it can provide. Most of all, we want to love and be loved, to live in a relationship that will not impede our wanderings and prevent our search. We do not want to prove ourselves to others or compete for love.

This passage is for wanderers, dreamers and lovers who dare to ask of life everything which is good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.”

- James Kavanaugh